Exchange in America: Expectation vs. Reality

By Thu Pham and Mirian Fonkam

It has been only eight months of studying abroad in America, but looking back it’s such a long way I’ve been through. Experiencing so many things during my exchange program made me come up with a conclusion: there is a huge difference between the expectation and the reality of being an exchange student in America.

About eight months ago, I was getting prepared for the most important trip of my life. Three travelling bags, a mind full of thoughts and five thousand dollars cash... I had never seen, felt or touched so much money and I guess majority of the teenagers too. But one thing I can assure you: you would never desire the awkward experience I had with that money…

­- No mom, you don’t need to do that! – I begged her – I can handle it, I promise.

- No, Thu. You’re clumsy. Trust me, I have known you for longer than you have.

            She knot the thread firmly, finishing sewing the five thousand dollars in the inside part of my jeans. (OMG, this is so shameful!) Yes, you got it, that part of the jeans…

            The fight to the land of opportunities took 11 hours. Quite long. The people around me were either watching movies or sleeping with their mouths hanging open. But I, in a mix of the traveling anxiety and the discomfort of sitting over 5k, spent the whole time imagining how fantastic my life would be. I wanted to make it perfect from the moment my feet touched the Nevada ground.

            This is how it was going in my mind: no control of parents, money in my hand, I can go everywhere I want and buy anything I like. Freedom! It’s a country of freedom, I can do whatever I want.

            School in Vietnam starts at 7 am and ends at 5 pm plus tutor classes, which are 3 more hours. While, school in the US starts at 8 am and ends at 3 pm! I would have the more free time and that was heaven for me.

From left to right: Thu Pham, Mirian Luzia and our friends: Jeannie Ding and Natalie Carrion.

             Nevertheless, things never go perfectly as you wish. It was like I was born again but in another country. I started to learn many new words to communicate with people, because my personality can’t bear being considered reserved. I don’t have that much free time as I imagined: learning new words seems to never end, no matter how much time I spend on it! Talking about spending, when I got here, I was forced to give all the 5k to my aunt, because my Vietnamese parents don’t trust me managing that amount of money. As for freedom, well I do have more freedom than when I lived with my parents. I can sleep as long as I want to. I can skip meal or I can eat a double meal without being scolded. I like to wander around the shops, food stores, parks or the neighborhood, it a pleasurable habit. But in America, especially in the city of Las Vegas, you better stay indoors if you don’t have a car.

I have never lived far away from my home town, it’s the first time I went away from my parents’ arms. And it’s so far away! Sometimes I wonder why I’m here, in this unaccustomed country. The more I recall my naivety over how much I wanted to go to America, the more I want to go home now.
            But at the same time, things are not bad for me. It’s actually very wonderful. My mom, my dad, my old teachers and my friends all said that I’m so lucky to be living with such a nice host family. They treat me like their child. Sometimes I feel kind of bad because I’ve never got scolded for anything but their kids get yelled at a lot! They have to do more household chores than me; they have their parents, especially their mom eyes on them every single second (OK, I’m exaggerating).

My mom did that to me, all the time, when I was back in Vietnam and it extremely annoyed me. But when I went away from her, I really miss that annoying feeling, the feeling from being yelled at, the feeling from her restrictions, her angry glance whenever I broke her rules… I miss them so much and I wish there’s somebody just like my mom next to me, accompanying with me forever and wherever I am!
            It is like I want to unite the two universes, but that is impossible. To stay or not to stay? To go or not to go? To be or not to be? I’m clearly so confused! And that is the reality of being an exchange student.